Imagine this. You’re out dancing, and on the dance floor you see two guys (or girls, whatever floats your boat). One of them dances like they just don’t care. They are feeling the music, and their body moves before they can think about it. With the other one, it’s different. It seems like they are calculating their moves, and wondering what it looks like.
Then ask yourself: which one of the dancing people is most attractive to you. The one who’s dancing without thinking, or their friend?
Most of us will probably pick the dancer who’s just moving intuitively, who’s feeling the flow. Why is it that we feel most attracted to a person who’s acting intuitively? And how can you be more like them?
Intuition is difficult to define, yet most people recognize it when they see it. People who are acting intuitively walk smoothly, don’t make awkward movements, they’re not limited in their communication. They don’t think about other people’s opinions. That’s what we find attractive: the spontaneity, the nonchalance and the lack of shame.
Oftentimes, it’s the notion that other people are judging you or watching you, bothering you. How do you get over that feeling? By doing things that embarrass you and scare you. Start with a little thing. Go out wearing no make up, go to a spa if you fear being naked. Speech at a birthday, take salsa lessons, book yourself a ticket for a solo trip. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it takes you out of your comfort zone. You’ll see: it’ll feel liberating.
If you’re tense, it’s difficult to connect to your intuition. You tend to calculate things and focus on the world around you. So whatever you do, try to relax. Have a massage, go to your yoga class, meditate. The more you meditate, the more you’ll lose your tension.
It’s a strange phenomenon, but we can’t deny it: when people get married, they often stop doing the things they enjoy. Riding their bikes on a Sunday, playing the violin, building furniture, embroidery, climbing… The things you enjoy, the things you’re good at, are part of your sex appeal. They increase your chances of finding love. So don’t stop doing what you love, intuitively, because it’s what makes you you – and attractive.
Text: Marijn Baar – Photo: Bảo-Quân Nguyễn
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