The honourable title happy single was made up for a reason – yet it can be difficult to find your way in a world that’s focused on couples. But happiness is found in ourselves, not in others. Five insights that will increase your amount of happy moments when you’re not in a relationship.
(And yes, some of them are very useful when you are in a relationship.)
When someone touches you in a pleasant way, your brain produces more oxytocin and serotonin, substances that increase your happiness. Almost every human being needs to be touched in order to feel loved, happy and calm.
As a single person, touches are harder to come by. If you find yourself longing for more physical contact –not necessarily in a sexual way – make it a priority. For instance by taking tango or salsa lessons, by treating yourself to a massage, by getting a pet to cuddle with or by massaging yourself.
In our culture, we mostly focus on love. Friendship comes next. Why not the other way around? We all knew friendships are healthy, not just for singles. But did you know that, as a single, your friendships make you feel much more alive? Cherish the friends who allow you to be your authentic self, who accept you just the way you are. Besides, you can love your friends just as much as you can love a partner. Did you know friendship sickness exists, just like lovesickness?
What’s the best place to connect with the mysterious and beautiful things in the world? Nature. It reminds us of our core, of where we come from. If you’re single, but also if you’re in a relationship, it can be very liberating to be amongst the trees, flowers and animals at least once a week. That’s where your heart and soul are fed and you breathe pure oxygen. It makes you feel stronger, and activity (outside) makes your body relax and gives you new energy and insights.
If you don’t have a partner to spar with and to project your creative ideas on, it’s wise to find a new way to stir up your creativity. Being creative will make you come up with new ideas, increases your mind power and gives you strength. Especially if you do it with others, because it will create inspiration. Don’t be afraid to let your creativity run free and take improvisation classes, apply for art class or start a dancing workshop. It doesn’t matter what you choose, as long as it makes you feel good. Being creative helps you to express yourself and frees the real, authentic you.
Perhaps this is the most important insight: live in the present and enjoy yourself! If you’re merely mulling the broken relationship, or worried about the future, you’re blocking your own happiness. Are there things you could improve in your life, that make you feel happier? Then act, and let go of all the ‘what if…’ thoughts.
Oh, and in case you ever wonder about the fact that you haven’t found love (yet), just remember: don’t let anyone tell you a new relationship is something that requires a certain amount of time. You don’t need anyone else to be happy.
Text: Fabiënne Peters – Photo: Erriko Boccia
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