Waking up from an erotic dream can be very awkward. Especially if the other person is not your partner, but a colleague or a friend. Don’t worry: making love in your dreams often symbolizes something entirely different.
Dreams about sex can be exciting, but also awkward and confusing. If you dreamt about having sex with your best friend, you can’t help but think about it the next time you meet them. The same goes for when you dreamt about colleagues, acquaintances, or –even worse – your boss. What does a dream like that mean? Do you secretly have feelings for them? Are you dissatisfied with your own relationship? No worries. Usually, sex in dreams is not about the act itself, but about something else. It’s our subconscious telling us about slumbering desires, wishes, or blockages regarding intimacy and attention. Did you dream about sex recently? Ask yourself whether it might symbolize one of these needs.
Suppose you dream about having sex with a colleague while, at the office, you guys quarrel all the time. It sounds contradictory, but actually, it expresses your need in the situation very clearly. It doesn’t mean you want to have sex with them, but simply that you would like the contact to improve. Unconsciously, you long for finding a solution together. Sexual dreams are often about people who are at a distance in daily life. The sex in the dream symbolizes your wish for (better) contact. Perhaps it’s time to reach out.
Sometimes, the need behind the dream is less clear. It’s possible that the sex dream symbolizes a wish you wouldn’t immediately recognize in daily life. In the Dutch book ‘Dreams and nightmares’, Bas Klinkhamer describes the story of a 37-year old woman and her recurring dream. In her dream, the woman is tied up and stroked by a group of strangers. It feels nice, while in daily life, she is in a lesbian relationship. It’s confusing to her, but talking to her coach, she discovers the meaning behind it. What was so pleasant about the dream? After a while, she realizes: ‘That I didn’t have to do anything, and all the men were there for me, to please me.’ It turned out that in her relationship, in daily life, she was always the one taking initiative. The dream made her discover a hidden desire: that she would be able to lean back every once in a while, and that her partner would take initiative.
Without eroticism and sensuality, we would live like robots. Our erotic, sensual side makes us the hot-blooded beings that we are, who are able to let life touch us. Passion and lust for life are two expressions of our erotic energy. It makes us go for things head first, makes us flirt in the streets, fall in love, and enjoy little things, like the sun tickling our skin. Perhaps, you’re suppressing your erotic, sensual side in daily life. If so, a sexual dream is a good reminder to live life to the fullest.
Do you know the person, with whom you were having sex, well? Try the following exercise. Think of three things that describe their personality. Perhaps, the person is dominant or the opposite: submissive? Powerful? Friendly? Caring? Possibly, these are qualities you feel you lack. The dream is your subconscious telling you it’s time to accept who you are.
Text: Joanne Wienen
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