Relationships are special. They wouldn’t have existed if two people hadn’t met. Lealyn Papaya realized that, no matter how much she talked to her partner or how well they knew each other, there would always be some distance.
Suddenly, she was aware of how the questions they used to ask eachother, were mostly about ‘you and me’, while speaking about ‘us’ would be much more interesting. That’s why she made a questionnaire of 33 questions that show how you and your partner think about what connects you: your relationship.
Some of the questions will make you happy, others will surprise you. Sometimes the answer might make you insecure, or bring up other emotions you didn’t expect. The point is, Lealyn stresses, that there are no right or wrong answers. The questions are about truth, and truth can be pleasant or unpleasant.
As long as you’re able to truly listen and you don’t draw premature conclusions, and as long as you’re in a mature, open and honest relationship, this experience will only make your connection stronger.
Plan a night together, light some candles and pour yourselves a nice drink. Make this conversation a special moment. A night you remember with a warm feeling, because it brought you closer together.
1 Which things I do or say make you feel loved?
2 Which things I say or do don’t make you feel loved?
3 What was the first thing that attracted you to me?
4 Which things I do in bed do you like?
5 Do I touch you enough?
6 Do I compliment you enough?
7 How or when do I make you feel special?
8 Are you interested in certain activities in bed you haven’t told me about yet?
9 What scares you the most, regarding our relationship?
10 What do you like the most about our relationship?
11 How can I help you to keep your individuality?
12 What’s changed since the first impression you had of me?
13 Is there anything you feel I’m not 100% honest about?
14 If you could change a part of your body, what would it be?
15 What’s the most painful thing I’ve ever said or done during our relationship?
16 Tell me what you would want me to do when making love.
17 What’s your favorite part of my body? And of my mind?
18 Name a habit of mine that annoys you.
19 What distinguishes me from other people?
20 When we met, how long did you think we’d be together? And how long do you think we’ll be together now?
21 How do you feel when we’re not together?
22 What do I contribute to your life?
23 What was the first thing that attracted me in you?
24 What do you think when you see me talking to an attractive person of my orientation?
25 How can I support you?
26 Have you ever worried about me cheating on you?
27 Have you ever considered cheating on me?
28 When do you admire me the most?
29 Are you content with how I feel about you?
30 Do you think we spend too much time together, or too little?
31 Is our relationship less exciting now than when we first met? How?
32 What’s your biggest fear?
33 When do you feel like you’re in the prime of your life?
Text: Eline Hoffman - Photo: Julian Howard