Trust is the very essence of a healthy relationship. Without trust, there is no room for true intimacy, love and fulfillment. But how do you build trust?
The sentence ‘The essence of a healthy relationship is trust’ has been said often. We hardly even question what it means anymore. It sounds beautiful and plausible, and no one would want to admit that there’s something off about that foundation of trust in their relationship. Still, it’s not easy to have blind faith in a partner.
The thing is, that it’s all or nothing: you trust someone entirely, or you don’t. You can’t trust your partner a little. That’s why a breach of trust is so hard to repair. If our trust in someone turns out to be unjust, the consequences for the relation –and our peace of mind- are endless. The trust, that was slowly built, has fallen to pieces.
How do we trust, and earn trust, again, even if it was betrayed?
Do you have enough faith in your partner?
You lack faith in your partner if you:
1. Check personal e-mail and texts, search through pockets and handbags
2. Want to know where the other person is at, every hour of the day
3. Keep asking for compliments and confirmation
4. Refuse to talk about a future thing
5. Ask the other person to take care of something and then supervise them, or make an arrangement for just-in-case they fail
6. Give them the benefit of the doubt and draw premature conclusions when there’s a misunderstanding
6 ways to work on mutual trust
1. Be conscientious about your responsibilities. Don’t allow yourself to take the easy way out
2. Keep your promises, even if the timing isn’t great or there are risks involved
3. Be consistent, hold on to your beliefs, don’t be impulsive
4. Keep secrets, and if you don’t know how to, don’t promise to do so
5. Be honest. Share how you feel and what you think, without a hidden agenda
6. Know yourself and the weaknesses you have to be careful for
Text: Susan Smit - Photo: JD Mason