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Want to strengthen your relationship? 3 tantra exercises for beginners

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Tantra teaches you to handle your sexual energy in a new way: consciously, with a heart that’s involved, attentive to everything that’s happening. It strengthens every aspect of your love life.

Trantra is much more than sex. It’s where bodies and minds meet. In our modern, western society, sex is focused on an orgasm. Tantric sex is about much more. It helps the body to let go of tension, it helps the heart to be confident and open, and it helps the mind to be free, playful and calm. Besides, tantra promises to have a positive influence on your relationship: the intimacy with your partner will grow, there will be more lust, and your relationship will deepen.

Exercise 1: Befriend your body

1.     Make sure no one will disturb you.

2.     Prepare yourself a nice hot bath with some scented oil, or turn on the shower. Use candles, incense, music and flowers to turn your bathroom into a temple.

3.     Touch your heart with your hand, feel the warmth and lovingly greet yourself (in tantra, this is called the ‘heart greeting’).

4.     Get into the bath tub, or in the shower, and let all the tension flow from your body. Then, attentively, touch every part of your body and say or think something kind about it.

Exercise 2: The intimate embrace

1.     Embrace your partner, close your eyes and think about what you’re feeling now. Keep embracing for about three minutes.

2.     Relax your body more and more, and make sure you use your whole body in the embrace.

3.     After two minutes, pay attention to your partner’s breath. Let your breathing and their breathing become one, so the two of you slowly breath in and out.

4.     Sit down and look eachother in the eye. Tell them candidly about what you felt about yourself and your partner.

5.     Listen attentively to what your partner was feeling.

Exercise 3: Stimulate your senses

1.     Make sure you will not be disturbed and block your diary for at least an hour.

2.     The ‘giving’ partner has prepared the room with gentle lighting, candles and aromatic scents, and trays with attributes.

3.     The ‘receiving’ partner can lay down and is blindfolded.

4.     The giving partner surprises the receiving partner with, for instance, grapes (seedless), lychees or small pieces of pineapple, drops of liqueur or pieces of chocolate; with sensual strokes using feathers and other materials, essential oils, music and whispers of sweet or passionate words.

5.     The giving partner takes off the blindfold. Avoid using words. Just look eachother in the eyes for a while and then take the time for a long embrace.

6.     Reverse roles (or do so some other time).

Exercises from: Margot Anand, ‘Love, sex and awakening.’