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Are you single? This is why you should never feel ashamed about it

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‘How long has it been?’ If you’re single and somebody asks you that question, the underlying message is usually ‘Don’t you think it’s time for a new relationship?’ And the more often you are asked this question the more you start doubting yourself.

All these questions and remarks make you feel like you’re going through a temporary phase, a phase that has only one purpose: to lead to the first prize, a new relationship. Until then, you’ll just have to make do. And when you look around you, you only see things that confirm this idea. At a wedding, where everyone seems to be celebrating their love, or when you’re visiting a couple you usually double dated with – together with your ex. And you’re on your own now. #sad

Cat lady

Aren’t they right? Isn’t it time for you to find someone new? Why didn’t you find anyone yet, are your standards too high? Are you even able to do maintain a relationship anymore, or did you turn into a spinster, a cat lady? Are you even good enough?

No to all these questions, except for the last ones. Don’t let anyone tell you there’s anything wrong with you. Or that a new relationship is something you find within a fixed amount of time. If you’re not ready for it yet, you’re not ready for it. If you simply haven’t bumped into anyone who was fun enough, good for you, because that means you know what you want (and what you don’t want).

You can do it on your own

Don’t be ashamed of the fact that you go to parties on your own, that friends can’t double-date with you right now, that you don’t lead a white-picket-fence life. Be proud of yourself, because no matter how comfortable a relationship can be: you don’t need another person to be happy. You can do it on your own. And that’s what you’re showing the world every day.  

Text: Dorien Vrieling - Photo: Sam Burriss