There’s no manual for life – thank goodness. But you can learn how to embrace the insecurities inside of you, even during hard times.
Insecurities are part of life, but the beauty of getting older is that you get better and better at being who you are. If that’s hard for you, try these steps towards more self-confidence.
Don’t be afraid of your emotions
It’s important to explore your boundaries: if yours are blurry, it’s probably difficult for you to decide your place in life and to protect it. But if you abridge your emotions, you might lose yourself a bit – while you do so, because you’re afraid of losing yourself. Cry if you have to cry, embrace your jealousy, laugh out loud when you’re happy and express your anger when you’re cross. Emotions are nothing to be ashamed of. You’ll feel them anyway. The only thing you control, is how you look at them and how you express them.
Stretch your boundaries
If you stay inside your comfort zone, life is orderly and safe. Children discover new things, no matter what, they learn by approaching everything dauntlessly, trying new stuff and putting everything they come across in their mouths. Grown-ups learn the same way: by stepping outside their comfort zone. It doesn’t mean you have to go bungee jumping, but you can challenge yourself in the little things and it can be just as liberating. Go out of the house without make-up, if that scares you. Tell your partner what you really like in bed. Or apply for a drawing class – with a nude model.
Look for mildness
It’s easy to think you’re not good enough for something, because then you don’t have to do it. But ask yourself: where does this rejection come from? And if you would be in the same situation with a good friend, would you be just as hard on them as you are on yourself? Try the helicopter view, and approach things rationally. Can you see that you’re too hard on yourself sometimes? And do you think you can react a little more gently next time?
Photo: Soroush Karimi