What do we need to be truly happy? Thich Nhat Hanh says that freedom brings happiness. ‘If we hold onto something in our heart, we can’t be free.’ But how do you know it’s time to let go of love? Five signals that might bring clarity.
If little things annoy you
You love a person, so you feel like he or she deserves it that you work on the relationship. But when their smallest habits give you the creeps – does he really have to laugh so hard? Why can’t she stop tapping her feet while watching TV? – perhaps it’s time to take your irritation seriously.
If you haven’t had a relaxed conversation in ages
Every couple disagrees every once in a while, and a good argument can be a big relief that creates space between you. But if you find cause for a row in everything, and you say things to your lover you don’t want to say – and yet, don’t even know what it is you’re so angry about – something bigger might be bothering you.
If you keep defending them
Perhaps he’s just not feeling that great. Perhaps she’s too busy at work, or there’s something bothering her in her family situation. Perhaps, sure, it could be. But be honest to yourself. Don’t keep justifying that they’re not there for you, when deep inside you know that this isn’t a temporary thing. No matter how much you want them to stay – if the feeling has gone, you can’t put a spell on it to make it reappear. You deserve someone who wants you with all their heart.
If you don’t like your mirror image anymore
Through the years, people change, and of course, a relationship attributes to that changes. This can be a beautiful thing, because you help eachother grow. Compare the old you, the one you were before your relationship, with who you are now. Are you content, or do you feel you want to go in another direction? If the latter is the case, there are several possible causes. But you might want to think about it.
If it hurts to go on this way
Everyone who’s been in a relationship that lasted longer than a couple of months, knows that it’s impossible to be over the moon all the time. Sometimes, you have to abide, and go through a difficult patch in order to grow together. But if you feel like your relationship has been costing you more energy than it brings you for a long time, and that together, you won’t reach the place you want to go to, then perhaps it’s time to stop trying.